I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
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