Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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