I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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