I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
thus making me awesome and them whores
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
