he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize