nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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