i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
