im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
