Plan B is the new Plan A
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
