He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
