i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
