why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
