if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
