goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
