I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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