I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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