She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
