...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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