you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
