It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
