OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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