glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
