OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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