I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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