Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you never un-have a 4some
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
