I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
