I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize