I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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