so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
