Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
