then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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