I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
