At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
