Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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