Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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