6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
