We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
