Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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