Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
being pregnant is like rehab
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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