she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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