Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
