Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
