went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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