I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
