just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
