We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
