My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
