omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
