I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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