ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
