My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
