he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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