we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
