Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
