Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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