Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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