she sounds like chewbacca in bed
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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