I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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