He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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