I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
