At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
