So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
