Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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