Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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