I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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