I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
