i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
